Aziz Ansari's New Stand Up Shtick. Hmm...

I saw his stand-up act live in Sydney a few years ago and it was one of the crudest, funniest experiences I've ever seen. You should download it. It's only $5. Do it here. Do it now. You know you want to. 

One Tiny Hand. Hmm...

This is so random. A tumblr devoted to displaying celebs as having one tiny hand. 

5,000 Miles, 930 People, 162 Seconds. Hmm...

Is There A More Ridiculously Awesome Sport Than Professional Ice Hockey? Hmm...

We went to watch an NHL game: The Dallas Stars vs The Phoenix Coyotes. They gave us free bobble heads as we walked in. Pretty sweet. 

Of course there were Zamboni's shaving the ice so the big scary hockey players don't get a booboo. They also have a bunch of hot chicks in barely any clothing skating around with shovels and buckets, scooping up the ice. 

And as with all American sporting events, no expense was spared. Huge production values. Lights, lasers, music, massivee prize giveaways like free breakfast for the whole arena. They even offered to pay some guy's rent for a year is the Stars scored between minute 14 and 13. They scored at 15. Ha ha. Pure entertainment all night long. 

We basically watched thugs, massive guys with big sticks, skating on blades, punch each other in the face. Best part? It's all part of the rules. In the end, Dallas' goons outshone Phoenix's. Woohoo! 

There was even a Kiss Cam like in the movies. In this pic you'll see a dude cock-blocking his mate. Good stuff. #FuckYeahAmerica