One of the most offensively funny birthday cakes ever. Hmm...

Okay. Just hear me out. It was my friend Adam's brithday party today. He's a volunteer paramedic / 5th year medical student / diabetic / actor / kung fu champion / world debate champion / funny guy / Jew. We couldn't just get him a normal birthday cake. So his brother (Daniel, whom you read about a few posts ago) and I decided to do what we always do when we get together, think of the weirdest shit possible and decided to base the cake on Adam's actual birth.

Here's what we did:

We bought a lovely red velvet cake from Wolves.  

  

We then took a cupie doll and placed it in a pot.

 

We sterilized the doll. You'll see why later.

We then began to sculpt a certain female body part belonging to Adam and Daniel's mother out of the middle of the cake. The red colouring really helped with the reveal.

Next we had to recreate the inner lining of the "opening" by covering some of the delicious icing with the innerds from the cake, ensuring we were as close to the real thing as possible, from a confectionary point of view of course.

We then ripped off the cupie doll's legs, placed it in the "cavity" based on a photo of the birth we had in our heads and voila!

The recreated birth of Adam Hirschmann in cake form.

The craziest part of it all is that people couldn't get enough of this cake. There was barely any left. Even the birthday boy scoffed a few slices down and he's a diabetic! I can't imagine what his mother probably thought given the symbolism involved but I imagine she was either very flattered or extremely embarrasssed, in which case I'll never be allowed in their home again.  

So, thank you to Adam and Daniel's parents, Hillary and Jacob, and to the rest of the Hirschmann clan for being so understanding and thank you to our lovely audience of drunk med students, doctors, finance okes, security dudes and of course, to the two guys who introduced themselves as, and I swear I'm not making this shit up, "Glock" and "Guns." It was a great party!